My heart is heavy. Or all of me is heavy. I don't feel like i know what i want but the thought of figuring it is more than i want right now. It feels better to focus on the limited future but my world demands otherwise. I have to plan food and happinees and comfort and then practical things like work and money and whatever connects to that, which feels like everything.
I am trying to be gentle instead of angry or so so sad. It all feels the same- like there is only one path right now and it is lonely and very quiet and dim.
Last night i started thinking about a ring i have in the upper part of my right ear. It was put in over ten years ago by a piercer and i think to get it out I'd need tiny plyers. Anyway, I suddenly feel very claustrophobic about it. Like, what if i suddenly need it out? I don't have tiny pliers. Where do they even sell those- hardware stores? Clearly I'm going to focus on nonsense for a while and either feel entirely better or worse about new things.
I am trying to be gentle instead of angry or so so sad. It all feels the same- like there is only one path right now and it is lonely and very quiet and dim.
Last night i started thinking about a ring i have in the upper part of my right ear. It was put in over ten years ago by a piercer and i think to get it out I'd need tiny plyers. Anyway, I suddenly feel very claustrophobic about it. Like, what if i suddenly need it out? I don't have tiny pliers. Where do they even sell those- hardware stores? Clearly I'm going to focus on nonsense for a while and either feel entirely better or worse about new things.
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